Okay, I know I'm being a total hypocrite here, but just allow me to rant about American-style scones for a moment. This morning I bought a humongous American abomination of a scone that belonged more in the cupcake family than the scone family. Much to my horror (and perverse delight), this thing had frosting on it! So as I sat in my car, guiltily devouring this "scone" where no one would see me, it occurred to me that maybe, just maybe I was being a bit of a hypocrite.
Anyone who knows me well patiently hears me out while I rant about the "wrongness" of flavored coffees, ridiculously large American portions, Vermont restaurants who serve maple creme brulee, and trendy "vitamin" water and sports drinks. Yes, I can pontificate about food like nobody's business, believe it or not. Most of my friends bear with me because they know we all have our little foibles...and because I sometimes enjoy large portions and American takes on traditionally European recipes, though I never admit it in public.
So, as I sat there in my dirty Honda, shoving an orange frosted "scone" into my face, crumbs flying willy-nilly, I looked in my rear view mirror to inspect my teeth. And that's when it hit me: my shortbread is an Americanized version of traditional Scottish shortbread. It's slightly chewy and contains a filling of jam, chocolate, nuts, or lemon curd. Would a self-respecting traditional Scottish cook make it the way I do? Probably not.
Oooops. Maybe I'd better look at my own shortbread before I start spouting about other specialty food products. Or maybe not. It's kind of fun to be a food curmudgeon about OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD.
Okay, I'm a dork. I LOVED the orange "scone". I will go back for more. I will stop putting quotation marks around the word "scone" to highlight my sarcasm. I would hate it if someone talked about my product as "shortbread".
I'm not a mean person, I swear. Forgive me for my scorn...ummm...I mean my scone.
Ann Zuccardy, A Woman Sconed
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