The Avuncular Copywriting Client

I'm guessing that you're not likely to read this post. As a reader of copywriting blogs, you're far more likely to be entertained by "Is there a formula for writing copy that sells?" which you'll find over on my other blog, Copywriting on the Fly.

Or if you do read this post, it's because you think I'm a pretentious ass for using the word "avuncular" in a blog post title.

Of course, there is always scenario C - you're one of those people who sees a big word and simply must join in the discussion.

I was turned down by a potential client because I told him I didn't know what the word 'avuncular' meant. (I didn't, and that was my honest answer. Could I look it up? Sure. Did I? Certainly. But at that particular moment, the meaning was unbeknownst to me).

My almost-but-not-quite-a-client had opened up our first dialogue with a story about another copywriter who had failed him (red flag) because she had never heard the word avuncular.

Here's a tip for all you copywriters out there. If, upon introduction, your prospective client tells a story about another copywriter who let him down in some way, be on your guard. It's highly likely that he will be more than happy to find fault in something you do or don't do, and open the next conversation with the next copywriter in a similar manner - only this time, the unflattering tale will be about YOU.

What's funny is that, among the reasons the client elected for us not to work together, was that "you charge by the hour and I feel there is more value to be derived from a project that's bidded for a flat fee," and yet after the words left his lips, he kept downplaying it.

"But that's the least of my worries," he said. When I opened my mouth to explain that there is much MORE value in a project where you pay for ONLY the hours actually spent working, and not a cent more," he cut me off abruptly. "I'm not here to argue with you, I just don't feel confident in your writing ability," he said, again bringing up that I had told him I didn't know the word avuncular.

WOW. What a way to start the week.

If a client comes back at you telling you "not to argue with him" when you're simply trying to hold up your half of the conversation? Walk away. Walk away quickly.

In case anybody is confused about my profession? I'm an advertising copwriter. Not to put anybody's website down, but online copy is not exactly what I'd call great literature. Rather, the goal is to get a message across that will convert sales. You accomplish this by being:

1. simple and to the point
2. persuasive and reader-focused
3. conversational
4. grammatically correct for the most part (colloquialism and a bit of creative license are okay in my book)

Your website copy should be easily understood by the average eighth grade reader. In other words, leave the SAT words to the novelists, dying breed though they are.

What cracks me up is that I never even got started on his project, and already this dude is telling me he has no confidence in my ability.

It's Monday, I'm tired, and in the immortal words of Kathy Kierhle - "Screw You!!"

(NOT "screw you for deciding I'm not the writer for you" - that I can live with, and I'll even agree that it was a poor match, based on our brief interaction. Screw you for talking to me like I'm a second class citizen! Screw you for asking me to pitch a book offering advice on how to communicate for success, and then breaking all of your own rules!)

In case anybody's burning to know, avuncular means "pertaining to, or characteristic of an uncle."

I don't feel that my would-be client was particularly avuncular. Unless of course your uncle is a big you-know-what.